The PM was off in Toronto, where he had made a vaccine facility announcement, while his deputy was off to Halifax, and all of the other leaders were similarly absent (because why sit on a Thursday?). Andrew Scheer led off for the Conservatives, and after spelling out a doom scenario for families over the summer, pitched their Supply Day motion of cancelling all federal gas taxes until Labour Day, under the rubric that this will let these suffering families take a road trip. Steven Guilbeault called this a “prime cut of Conservative baloney,” and that the savings the Conservatives claim for a family from Alberta is based on them travelling 37,000 kilometres, saying you could to from the North Pole to the South Pole and have kilometres left. Scheer insisted this was just not true, and repeated his talking points, and this time Guilbeault walked Scheer through the math, where the Albertans would have to use 3293 litres in those three months, at an average of 8.9 kilometres per litre, getting to the 37,000 kilometre figure, meaning they would have to drive for ten consecutive days. Scheer deployed the monetary policy and budgets balancing themselves lines, and accused Trudeau of going to the private islands of “wealthy lobbyists” (which is false, and if you bring up the Aga Khan, he was not a lobbyist, and his foundation was lobbying for increased relief funds for Syrian refugees), so he doesn’t worry about family road trips. This time Mark Holland got up to say that Canadians’ summertime fun isn’t to be locked in a car for ten straight days, and turned this into an accusation about trying to cut dental care and child care. Luc Berthold took over in French, demanding the gas tax holiday with a Quebec spin, to which Guilbeault insisted that their calculations were off, and to achieve the savings they claim, a family would have to drive from Quebec City to Mexico City and back again, and then there again and back. Berthold insisted that the Liberals can’t do math, and demanded the tax holiday. Guilbeault again noted that to achieve the savings the Conservatives claimed, and repeated that it would require using 3293 litres over three months, along with his line about the North Pole to the South Pole.

Alain Therrien led for the Bloc, claimed that the Liberals have woken up to the healthcare crisis in the Outaouais region, and demanded higher transfers for Quebec. Steve MacKinnon said that the Quebec government needs to wake up to the problems in the region. Therrien insisted that they needed more federal funding, and again demanded it. MacKinnon repeated that the province needs to invest in the region.

Alexandre Boulerice rose for the NDP, and blamed the federal government for increased homelessness in Montreal, which is a real reach. Soraya Martinez Ferrada said that they are working with municipalities and not insulting them like the Conservatives do. Bonita Zarrillo raised a recent report on the inability for women with disabilities to get adequate care when pregnant, and Mark Holland insisted that they are providing care, and that the Conservatives want to vote against it.

Round two, and Jasraj Hallan angrily read some complete nonsense word salad to demand the gas tax holiday (Guilbeault: To achieve those savings they need to use 3293 litres, which is unrealistic; Fragiskatos: You want to ruin the rebate for Canadians), Rachael Thomas read her own script on the gas tax holiday (Holland: Good news kids! you can have a summertime trip locked in the car for ten days and the cost is to give up the future of the planet; MacKinnon: You fight against the rebate, but won’t when the premier of your province raised gas taxes), and Kyle Seeback read his own version of the same script (Fragiskatos: Your plan is written on the back of the same tactic as your housing plan; Sudds: Some good news economic talking points).

Alexis Brunelle-Duceppe decried that Quebec can’t francise enough asylum seekers, so they need to do something about it (Miller: We are here to help the province, but they need to francise more because they need more francophone immigration; You are asking a question of the wrong level of government).

Melissa Lantsman decried people fleeing to the United States, allegedly because of the current government (Holland: You are showing you want us to be like the US, with their private healthcare; Noormohamed: My family chose Canada for freedom and democracy), and Eric Duncan gave another script on the same (Hajdu: Let’s talk about women dying in the U.S. because they can’t get abortion care).

Lantsman saying that Trudeau is driving people out of the country is quite the reach. #QP

— Dale Smith (@journo_dale) May 30, 2024

Heather McPherson accused the federal government of cutting funds to festivals from the Fringe Festival in Edmonton (St-Onge: We have supports in the budget, and Conservatives want to vote against it), and Gord Johns decried the government not allowing decriminalisation in Toronto while people are dying (Brière: The Toronto request didn’t have enough to protect public health and safety).

Round three saw questions on delays in housing permits in Montreal (Martinez Ferrda: We have a plan and you don’t; Duclos: Your leader only built six affordable units when he was “minister” and we have just built 134 in your neighbour’s riding), stays of proceedings in justice cases (Virani: I have appointed judges faster than anyone in history; Your bill would invoke the Notwithstanding Clause to trample on Charter rights), safe supply policies (Hajdu: There is not one perspective to fighting the opioid crisis, which is why we have different tools available for communities that want them; Brière: Your remarks are dangerous; Experts have said that there is no one way to fight opioids, which is why there are lots of tools available), hiring foreign “mercenaries” to cull invasive deer on an island instead of local hunters for free (Guilbeault: I will look into this), combatting wildfires (Romanado: We work closely with province and municipalities), and lowering the voting age to 16 (O’Connell: We want young people to be involved, and there is a study at committee).

Overall, it was another day without fireworks, but it was nice to see the Liberals having a good time poking fun of the Conservatives’ claims, rather than being self-righteous about it, or simply repeating some happy-clappy pabulum, so that’s a nice change, and perhaps it was because none of the leaders were present, so they weren’t under as much pressure to create specific content clips for their socials. More humour—especially self-deprecating humour—in Parliament, please! 

Sartorially speaking, snaps go out to Ben Carr for a dark blue shirt over a white shirt with a pale pink tie, and to Soraya Martinez Ferrada for a turquoise and black diamond patterned long-sleeved dress with a v-neck. Style citations go out to Dominique Vien for a black jumpsuit with pink florals under a beige jacket, and to Luc Desilets for a powder blue jacket over a white shirt and pink tie).